Survival Strong; Practical Fitness for the End of Times

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zombie apocalypse

So, say the world ends tomorrow.

 

I don’t really care what that would mean, but for pop culture’s sake let’s say it was due to a virus that caused us all to have our human characteristics to leave us.

 

Everything that makes us human. Our thoughts. Our emotions. Our curious nature to want to learn ‘why?,’ gone.

 

Let’s say it all disappears and is replaced with just our carnal survival instincts.

 

Eat, or be eaten.

 

In short, let’s say zombie apocalypse, not unlike the Walking Dead series that I just now started to watch with my fiancée.

 

I realize that this was popular about 2-3 years ago, but I don’t like waiting for new episodes to come out, mainly because I usually don’t have the time to watch them when they debut.

 

I’m selfish. I like watching them on my own time.

 

Therefore, Netflix.

 

Anyway, I digress.

 

What would we do?

 

I’d like to say that I would be a survivalist; that I would know how to make fire by rubbing two sticks together or creating a bow out of twisted animal connective tissue and an old yew limb.

 

But I don’t….

 

Awkward…

 

Something I do bring to the table, however, is that I would be hard to catch.

 

I could outmaneuver the slow guy of the group, thus avoiding being eaten myself.

 

Again, Im selfish.

 

Also, there would be no issue carrying my weight around. In fact, I’m sure that there would be that one person who’s stuff I would have to carry because he is too out of shape to do it himself (or herself).

 

So, I have decided to be a little generous today and share, what I think, survival fitness consists of:

 

  1. Speed is your ally.

 

If it came down to a footrace, like escaping a horde of flesh-eating zombies, you will win.

 

I can’t imagine cardio being in the wheelhouse of the rotting dead.

 

The lungs and heart need to be in good shape for this and I just can’t imagine rotting, maggot-filled flesh being able to keep up with a healthy individual.

 

Something else that would be beneficial for you to outrun… other humans.

 

If there is a bag of guns lying in the middle of the road (as there is in TV show), I’m fairly confident I will have a distinct advantage over a non-athletic individual.

 

But that is just a hunch.

 

Also, metaphorically speaking, if I am being chased, I only care about outrunning the slowest individual.

 

I feel my odds are decent here, especially since only 10 percent of the population regularly exercises.

 

In short, speed wins.

 

  1. Busting out a few pull-ups

 

In English, you can climb.

 

Again, I’d like to think zombies would have trouble scaling a tree. Rotting muscle doesn’t really do very well in any physically demanding capacity, much less hoisting your own bodyweight around.

 

If you can scurry up a tree, or building, or wall, or whatever, Id say your chances of survival dramatically increase.

 

  1. Carrying odd objects

 

You will have to carry supplies with you.

 

If you are lucky you have a durable backpack to aid you.

 

If you are REALLY lucky, you have a car, but even that will run out of fuel sooner or later.

 

At some point you will have to carry some weight around with you.

 

My guess is that not everything will be nice and symmetrical with textured grips to easily hold on to.

 

Again, lucky you.

 

More than likely, you will have a water jug or gas can in one hand, a trash bag slung over your shoulder of pillaged canned food in the other, and your gear in some kind of pack on your back.

 

And you will have to walk.

 

A lot.

 

Being strong enough to carry weight around and a decent grip will be a useful attribute in your end-of-the-world days.

 

Also, more than likely there will be that one guy (or girl) in the group not pulling their own weight, making everyone else carry their load.

 

No one wants to be that guy.

 

Don’t be that guy.

 

So when the end of times arrives, be prepared.

 

Don’t be the guy everyone hates because you decided to be lazy before the world ended.

 

Instead, work on bodyweight efficiency, sprint a bit and carry weird things for long distances.

 

Be the guy everyone turns to for getting stuff done.

 

Be that guy.

 

For a program you can follow along with to achieve “end of the world fitness”, subscribe to my email list. I will be sending out a program within the week to those currently on my list.

 

 

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